Unfortunately, I’m writing this native a place of anger and also frustration. I’m uncomfortable that i can’t openly express my dislike for my normally kinky hair. Have the right to you be proud of who you are, wherein you come from, and also still dislike a an individual feature or trait? any sane human being would prize “yes!” no in the african American community apparently. If you are proud of being black, you adopt everything the comes in addition to the territory. That means just going with the motions. In order to truly know my hair trauma we have to look in ~ my childhood. Yes childhood, it’s the deep.

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From a really young age, I constantly disliked having actually my hair done. When speaking v friends recently, ns realized that ns wasn’t the only black girl who felt that way. Side note: carry out other little girls experience this too? that wasn’t that i was a tomboy. That wasn’t that i didn’t choose to watch kempt and/or polished. Having my hair manipulated in any means was painful. This to be painful mostly due to the fact that of the structure of mine hair.I have actually 4C hair.

It is very coarse, kinky, thick, and dry. Over there is a popular hair range that is supplied to describe our curly patterns. This scale arrays from 3A-4C (with 3A gift the loosest curl pattern and also 4C gift the kinkiest and also tightest). This texture way that the took an ext time, maintenance, and also products in order because that my hair come look “styled.” Detangling was and still is the most time-consuming and also frustrating element of it all.

If you space proud of being black, you embrace everything that comes in addition to the territory. That means just going through the motions. In order to truly understand my hair trauma we must look at my childhood. Correctly childhood, it’s the deep.

A history of mine hair

As a an extremely young child, ns spent many time having my hair done by mine mom, family members, and hairstylists. Relying on what hairstyle i got, it can take approximately 6 hours. Hours that other youngsters would spend with your friends playing, act homework, or trying out outside. Imagine me at four years old sitting still for hrs at a time simply for a hairstyle. Clearly this instance was something i couldn’t understand and also it was ending up being a problem for all parties involved.


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Apparently, if I scratch my scalp, the “opens mine pores.” With open pores, the lye will certainly literally burn my scalp. Obviously, as a 5-year-old, ns didn’t listen. Refraining indigenous scratching my itching scalp appeared absolutely ridiculous to me. Did I mention that the relaxer needs to sit on mine head because that a details amount of time prior to it deserve to be rinsed out? So right here I am with lye burn my scalp and also no relief in sight. If the relaxer is wash out prior to the mentioned amount the time, the is possible that the procedure “won’t take.” even though i am in pain, I’m quiet sitting, waiting, and also trying no to complain.

Once the relaxer is rinsed out, I an alert immediate relief until I feel the sores and also burns on mine scalp from the chemical process. “They will heal,” ns think come myself. Currently it is time to have it swollen dry. The heat and also comb indigenous the hairdryer cause constant pain yet I understand this is something I have to get through. The last steps are having actually my hair brushed and also wrapped roughly my head in a circle. A headscarf or bonnet climate covers mine head and also completes the tedious process. The scarf is used to protect my hair native damage.

The journey and the Lesson


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You would certainly think having braids would certainly be less painful 보다 a hot comb but honestly, it’s tho painful. The pain would certainly last work after until the braids loosen. Your herbal hair is pulled really tightly right into the braid, which reasons immediate pain. Lasting pain and also a life time of damage. The follicles that the hair gift pulled too tightly consistently result in hair loss and damage to the scalp. Not just is this procedure painful however it can take anywhere between 2-12 hours relying on the style. There are still components of mine scalp this particular day that haven’t totally recovered, the hair is scarce and also tender in some spots.

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Naturally Grateful

Pros: now that every one of the cons room out that the way, I have the right to express mine gratitude. Yes, my hair is a pains in mine ass and also it has been due to the fact that childhood but it is likewise absolutely magical. It’s thick, rich in color, deeply coiled, and most importantly, versatile. There to be a three to five year period during college once I took pleasure in my hair the most. It to be long, healthy, and much less maintenance 보다 it is now. Ns would execute so numerous different styles. I’d wear mine hair in twists, twisted outs, afro puffs, afros, high ponytails, low ponytails, and also braids. Any style you deserve to think of, I had actually it. Mine hair to be beautiful and I obtained compliments non-stop however did the make that worth every one of the literal blood, sweat, and tears? certain not!

The reason I store my hair in braids and also other protective formats is the caring because that it everyday is like having actually a second full-time job. Allow me call you about this job. It starts with co-washing (using conditioner rather of shampoo) when a week, deep air conditioning overnight, detangling, waiting drying, and also twisting my hair into tiny sections. If my hair is no twisted prior to bed, the 2nd I lay my head down, mine hair shrinks back to my scalp developing the “no hair” look. Also, twisting my hair prior to bed offers me the desired style because that the following day. Imagine moisturizing, detangling, and also twisting every single night regardless of exactly how you are feeling. The is a large commitment, one the I’m not willing to make at this suggest in mine life.